why...?

I was just wondering, if he loves me, why does he need someone else to say it for him? If he misses me, why does he need his cousin to say it for him? Why can't he just say it himself? Maybe he's afraid? he's shy? Whatever his reason is, I don't think that's fair. :( It breaks my heart (I guess).

But it's not fair to say that it's only him who's shy. Who's afraid. I couldn't even say that I miss him or I love him. :( But, whenever we're talking, in my head, I'm saying those words.

We're both LOSERS! >:( and I hate it. Why can't we just open up and say what we feel for each other and those stuff. :'( I mean, just to end expecting something that can never be given, assuming every word one says is true, and loving each other in secret. What the Hell is wrong with him? with me? with us? Why are we shy to one another even though we've known each other for YEARS! I guess we're afraid of what people would think. But I think, people don't give a damn as much as we think they do. For short, most of them don't care. So, why the hell are we caring about them. They don't feed us? They don't own us! Life is fair. It's the way we think that life's unfair. Can somebody tell him to say whatever he wants to say and don't let someone say it for him. :'( I want to cry. Ooh, God. :(

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I must've gone drama or even crazy. Whatever you think, I don't give a damn. :P That's how I feel. And you can never change that.

I wonder what would his reaction be when he reads this.

P.S.: I'm feeling okay now. At last! I've poured my emotions in here.